Express Love – V-day Countdown!

As promised, here goes! We are doing the weekly countdown to Valentine’s day. I just couldn’t wait for Saturday (tomorrow) to publish this blogpost. It’s ready and what’s a girl to do?… I am generally excited to share. Isn’t it what writer’s do? To think of it. Are all bloggers necessarily writers? Because all writers aren’t bloggers, though most writers are encouraged to blog too. (Life of an over-thinker… who happens to blog and maybe thinks of herself as a writer). You have permission to wonder what this blogpost is all about. This introductory paragraph may not march the title… but who cares, right? WRONG. Aaah! I aspire to be a disrupter. Wait, you can’t aspire to disrupt, you just disrupt.

I hope I haven’t lost you. Can I just say that I have changed the title of this post at least three times this week. 1) If all roses were RED (catchy I thought)

2) Express your RED (sounded too marketing campaign, promotional item)

3) No. 5 counting down to V-day! (not comprehendible, given that last week’s post wasn’t: No. 6 Let’s start the V-day countdown).

Anyway…

In my previous blogpost I alluded to RED as the colour of love. Many a poet has spoken of crimson, a shade of red. For those who love hymns, I am sure crimson isn’t a new word for the day! Crimson is a dark shade of red. A colour that expresses depth and sacrifice. I shared that love is about action and giving. I hope you’ve read Countdown to Valentine’s day What I didn’t emphasize, is that it (love) is the giving of self, even to the point of death. Yes, to such an extreme. Christianity (because it is the religion I have “experience” with) is all about a father who gave His all. His very best, to the point of death.

I will attempt to tell the Valentine story. I don’t have much to say, but, you already know it is about love. In essence, the ultimate show of love that knows not bounds. The priest Valentine would secretly marry couples at a time when marriages and engagements were banned in ancient Rome. The then Emperor Claudius, had put a halt to the pairings because he found it hard to get soldiers to go to battle. He felt that soldiers hesitated to go to war because of family concerns. When Valentinus was jailed, he fell in love with the jailer’s daughter who would visit him in confinement. Before his death, he wrote a letter to his love and signed out, “from your Valentine”. The statement became a “thing” to say or write for Valentine’s Day.

Now I hope we are clear that the V-day is about the expression of love. Some people will wiggle out of the day with statements like: “It’s just an over-commercialized day!” or “Why should I only express my love on one day of the year?” or “Don’t I express my love to you daily?” I, for one, will definitely wear blue on the day. Royal blue, for sure. Yes, I plan to express my love to a particular someone in a special way. Wait, that means I may have to start planning now! I won’t make a reservation (because I secretly hope he will). I will buy him… a present? The expert gift givers say that men generally like functional gifts. You know, something he will actually use. Not a card please! Unless it’s for a club membership card.

We’ve all heard the famous rhyme: “Roses are red; Violets are blue…” Some have completed the rhyme, “That is why, I love you”. A random thought…I should search for lyrics by famous rappers. I bet you these very fast rappers have used the “roses are red, violets…” line. These rappers know we are very impressed by their skills, although we don’t hear all the words. Some of us just nod along and then promise to also use our talents and maximize our potential in our spheres of influence. Moving on…

Here are some lines, for those who do not like to cheat in exams…

Roses are red, violets are blue:

• I will never  love anyone, the way I love you.
• honey is sweet and so are you
• and love has said, it should be you
• you love me, I love you

So, if you are thinking all roses are red, they aren’t. I am even more confused to learn that there is a shade of red known as “rose”. On to some suggestions. Let’s give a yellow-coloured rose flower to our friends this V-day. The orange-coloured rose flower to show passion and enthusiasm. White roses for happy-love. Pink for sweetness and gentleness. Lavender (a light shade of purple) for enchantment. Combine red and white roses to send your message of oneness.

Yes, I am suggesting flowers for V-day! For those of us who like carnations or orchids or lilies, please drop your hints early! For the flower givers, here are some images, so you can show the florist… just incase the name of the flower “escapes” your mind.

This is a carnation. Yes, it also comes in a variety of colours.

That’s an orchid

Lily, a delicate showy flower with bell-shaped or funnel-shaped petals.

How about we take things a notch higher! Ladies, raise your glasses we are about to have some wine! I have a confession to make. Of late the “have some wine!” line has been used in my circles to toss away dating stories. Especially dates gone bad. So, I want to suggest that we plan a ladies night out to celebrate ourselves, just. And, wait for it… V-day is on a Wednesday! It’s official. We are having a ladies night gig for V-day!

Ok, so to conclude this post. We’ve talked a little about getting a suitable title for your blogpost – get as many ideas and just choose one! We’ve talked about the Valentine story. We’ve agreed to express our love by a deliberate action to and/or for the person or petson we love (… the object of our love… it could even be self!). We might try poetry… We’ve said V-day flowers don’t just have to be roses. We’re maybe having a ladies shenanigan (look it up!)… until next week… Cheers!

Eyes on the Goal

The focus is on the goal. All steps aren’t promised to happen; but I have to prepare. I will not spend so much time preparing, though. I would rather listen to those who have gone before me. I will listen to their lessons. I will learn from their failures. I will be challenged by their milestones. If they could do it, why can’t I?

I see clearly now that the distractions are many. I can see now that when your goals consume you; your eyesight becomes clearer. Your focus is sharpened. You easily recognise who and what you don’t need; and cling to everything that drives you to your goal.

I now see that the baby steps towards my goals will have bumps along the way. I do not have to study the bump. I may actually need to adjust my speed. The best part is that there’s no stopping.: to get over the bump is to continue on towards the goal.

I set out to blog daily in November and managed at least 25 entries in 15 days. I then did a Countdown to Valentine’s day

I went silent after V-Day. No good reason. I was slowly getting consumed by a relationship gone serious; an inquisitive daughter whose teachers summoned me to school to discuss her progress; a job that wanted all of my mind and energy; fading friendships; sibling squabbles; hard- to-find-domestic-help situations; hard to beat WI-FI bill; shifting houses; a blah birthday … All of these deserve a blogpost of their own.

I have missed the WordPress family. It’s true that you are only a blogger if you can do at least three blogposts a week; and it has been maybe eight weeks since my last post. Well, let’s not dwell… but then again… I would’ve been 24 more posts ahead. What with “create your niche”, “blog about something you enjoy”, “10,000 hours of mastery?”, “Monetise my blog?”, “WordPress with it’s 17 million…I’m I ever going to be noticed?”, “One day this is all I will be doing – blogging”, “Wait, I was nominated for an award… I need to do that entry”, “I was reblogged on Amazon”, “I’m secretly hoping that 2018 is my best year yet”… now it’s not a secret I guess…

Haa! reblogged isn’t a WORD? Right click on the word reveals that the correct word is reclogged. Haaa!!

No pressure for this come back blogpost to be one thousand words. No pressure. I’m out…

 

Flower print, Line patterns, Dot patterns

Yes, Yes, Valentine’s Day – Fast Approaching!

I started the countdown really early- some time in January and most people thought it was really early then. But. here we are, a bit anxious, maybe excited, maybe least moved. It’s been quite a week for me. I have been stretched by relatively new roles at work. A struggle to “perform well” in work-life balance – if at all it’s possible. I need to take a class- hopefully accompanied by my daughter- so that I actually spend time with her, oh my!

Observations for the week… a former classmate is ailing; a good friend’s hubby will be going in for surgery; my cousins (half-brothers) have met in the WhatsApp family group; two of my lady friends are in their thirty-something weeks’ of pregnancy; I acquired a good supplier who’s helping me with my wardrobe; I’m taking baby steps to improve my blog; noticing that I have a good support system; attended two consecutive events on Friday (one event that I helped in organizing and another that my sister knew we had to attend because we are on a journey- details of which, I will reveal later).

Back to the Countdown to Valentine’s day

Confessions of an over-thinker! Here we go as I finish up on a draft blogpost that’s been quite stagnant. I’ve put my foot down. I won’t think of whether I achieve my- at least a thousand words per post.

So, which one are you? – Dots personality, Lines personality of Flower personality?

Let’s dig in. I have some good music on repeat and so inspiration is plenty. Enjoy! And let’s share this post.

The twelve months of the year each have a star; I’m an Aries. All the months have a stone; I’m a diamond. Well guess what? Each month has a flower too. Please scan through to your month, since I will go ahead to mention all twelve. January – carnation – flower of the gods. February- iris – rainbow. March – daffodil- rebirth, respect. April – daisy – implicity, modesty. May- lily of the valley – elegant, delicate. June – rose flower- passionate. July -larkspur- lightness and levity. There’s a flower called larkspur? Hit your new tab, I give you permission. Comment with a photo please. I am sure we are terribly curious. August – gladiolus- I kid you not, named after the gladiators. Ah-hoo! Wait, is that from the movie Spartans? I confuse those Epic movies, I always fast forward at some point. Let me shut up. Or rather let me erase the words, no, wait the right word is backspace…

September- aster- patience. I swear this exercise is making us squirm at the thought of having to get my other half a flower whose name I can’t pronounce. October- marigold- winning grace. Fun-fact: the marigold’s flower head follows the sun. November – chrysanthemum (do not struggle to pronounce, just copy and paste, let the florist battle) – compassion, secret love. Let’s take a moment to check out the LOVES Here Is February 2018…

December – paperwhite narcissus – sweet. The pronunciation struggle should be the title of this blogpost – ha!

My theory: FLOWER PEOPLE ARE DETAILED AND LIKE FRAGRANCE. If you’ve taken time to check out the flowers and you have inspired thoughts as a result, you are probably a flower personality. I had to finish to December because it would be wrong to leave my readers guessing… and plus I do not want to be unfollowed- who does? I must confess my brain stopped at larkspur.

Line pattern people are…the draft

Dot pattern people are… the draft too

meanwhile…

Here Is February 2018…

Googling is a good activity. I thought I had “uniquely branded” Valentine’s Day by calling it V- day. This was until the other Sunday, the 28th of  January 2018. It was during  operation couch- potato, OPCP; which means I had had brunch, was lying on the sofa, semi-engaged in watching a movie. I picked up my phone from the carpet (you must understand that when I am on my couch after brunch, I am usually horizontally aligned to the sofa and pretty close to the floor than anywhere else. It follows that my tall glass of water, my phone and the remote controls are usually on the carpet. I know you get me!!). By the way, I completely and most assuredly deserve to do this every weekend. This isn’t a disclaimer. If you really work super hard during the week, you probably need this “cheat day”.

Let’s get back to telling the actual story. I picked my phone and scrolled to the google icon, typed in “V-day”. To my surprise, it has already been thought of! There’s truly nothing new under the sun! (Borrowed from the exclamations of Solomon, the wisest man, that is claimed, to ever live and roam the earth).

If I must believe myself unique, then I must everyday do and say what is unique to me. Someone else may have thought about it too but what I do about my idea and how I do it is uniquely mine. (Personal mantra…should print and stick it on my vision board!)

Mmmh! A few more days to Valentine’s day. I want to explore the different people we love. I have a theory. Those of us who’ve done pure mathematics and psychology (maybe, just guessing it would be part of some course outlines), know that theories need to be proven. Proof takes many forms. In order to prove that something is true, you may have to test it. In testing it, you have to make certain assumptions and/or allow certain conditions to exist. I hope I am not being hyberbolic to some of my readers.

 

Courtesy of suju, picked up from pixabay.com  … I call it: How the pieces fit…

 

 

Let me complicate life even further. The best way sometimes to prove truth is to first assume falsehood. For example, I have a theory that there’s that special someone that you consider your TRUE LOVE. Then there’s your FIRST LOVE. Then there’s the LOVE OF YOUR LIFE. then there’s your SECRET LOVE. One more…your ENDLESS LOVE. Pause…let’s take a moment… We could first pretend that when you think of someone, then they don’t fall into any of these categories. Then we can take it a notch higher and test the falsehood, by defining each of the terms. You will most likely find that as you define them, you will associate the LOVE-TERMS with people. It could even be other couples. Yes, even those on reality T.V!! Haha!! I just had to.

Is your spouse any of the above? I sincerely hope so. Let me not make over-thinkers such as myself go into ANALYSIS MODE. I will attempt to explain the LOVEs above; in a phileo kind of way… i.e. appealing from one human to another. Please let’s remember this is my theory. I mean this in the sweetest way, because I encourage you to share your theory with me too. (Loud hint: kindly comment at the end of the post!). We are still in Countdown to Valentine’s day.

Your ENDLESS LOVE is the person whom after all the hurt you have caused them, they still love you. Your endless love has suffered much in loving you. May be they’ve faced rebuke and rejection; maybe from external forces or from their mind not agreeing with their heart. But for some reason they still love you!

Your FIRST LOVE is the person who you first fell deeply in love with. It’s not necessarily your first relationship, although it could be!

Your TRUE LOVE loves you unconditionally; through your flaws. Your true love, I believe, becomes exactly that only through the test of time. It takes time to discover your true love.

Your SECRET LOVE, as the late Luther Vandross sang it, is the love that you keep as a hidden away treasure. You probably haven’t introduced your secret-love to many; well, because they are a secret. Can’t your secret-love be your true-love?…With time! But with time, one of you will become dissatisfied with the secrecy.

LOVE OF YOUR LIFE…this one is usually exasperating to hear. “She was the love of my life”. A declaration that comes after loss. Rarely do you hear, “She/he is the love of my life!” I know I hear a lot of, “I have married my best friend. We have dated for blah blah! I love him/her so much” I recently used the term, love of my life, when I responded to a call from one of my best friends (Yes, I don’t have one best friend; and yes they can be promoted and dropped as I age on gracefully). But isn’t it funny that my very first human best friend… (because my first best friend was inanimate – a homemade doll that I adored and named Nancy. I used to feed her. Her mouth was absorbent- made of wool). Don’t picture it. My mum thought the idea was hideous. It follows that my doll disappeared mysteriously on a day my dad had brought home tiny quails; that I was lured into feeding and caring for. A random thought… my parents were actually discussing my doll at some point in their lives! They even colluded on what to replace her with? My dad went quail shopping and even bought a feeder and a cage? Can I just say that the quails grew fat and made for a delicious dinner someday when I was taken for a long drive! Those parenting skills were damn masterful. What with four siblings before me, they had enough years of practice! Oh my! I was describing LOVE OF YOUR LIFE. I think maybe my dad was that for my mum! I sure hope so!

I was saying…isn’t it funny that my very first human best friend is now someone I am striving to reconnect with. We’ve been within reach of each other for years. Somehow, now we are making steps to be in each other’s lives. How cool is that?

This blog gets all so personal and mushy… and we forget we are counting down! Let’s recap.

Do what’s unique to you- you will find your unique self because it comes in moments of inspiration.

Define you Love-person/people. Find ways to Express Love – V-day Countdown!

I’m out! (Drops the mic!)

 

 

 

 

Valentine’s Day – Fast Approaching!

January 2018 is almost over!

I promised a weekly countdown. It is now more than a week since my last post. It’s been an eventful more than one week. Lots of wishing and hoping. Lots of deliberate steps to attain those goals.

Pleasant surprises like a colleague agreeing that she doesn’t want roses for Valentine’s day. Express Love – V-day Countdown! Another colleague says she’ll wear blue too. Countdown to Valentine’s day Another colleague confirming that we work well together. Oh, then there’s a bit of blogging recognition. Romance? Well… let’s just say lots of wishes.

So, what’s on for Valentine’s day? It’s going to be a Wednesday. Perhaps H.A and I should follow through on the promise we made to D.M. We, H.A and I, made a random phone call on this recent New Years’ Eve. We (H.A. and I) thought of a common friend whom we both missed so much. It felt right to call and say hi; not realizing it was seconds to mid-night. We all had a really good laugh as he (D.M) narrated about how he and a special someone drove out to a random venue to watch the fireworks display. Oh how I reminisce on the declaration of promising each other that 2018 is going to be better year. It has to be! What with all the political unrest that came with 2017. Not to mention watching in awe as first world leadership “did their thing”. Let me not go into that.

This is a post on V-Day “mamboz” (there I go assuming some of my readers know sheng; an interesting street language that has morphed over the years; from being considered a distortion of mixed English and Swahili words, to reversed syllables of the same distorted words, to addition of commonly spoken mother-tongue dialects; to having a radio station whose presenters are sheng-speaking; to sheng-rapping artistes who actually won and continue to win awards. I have got to do a post on the language! Anyways, the word used earlier, “mamboz” means “tings”…slang for “things”… plans, agenda, “manenoz”, blah!

Our friend D.M. has his birthday on Valentine’s Day. So I always wish him a happy Varthday! Or rather, happy Birthentine Day! It sounds really cool, doesn’t it!

Now that we have scrolled and/or skipped the paragraphs above, let me get to the point. I would like us, especially ladies, to think outside of what we would like to receive for Valentine’s Day and strategically plan to have a great Vals Day.

Let’s do a spa treatment. A cool 5 hours of relaxation. Sauna, massage, facial, manicure, pedicure, a glass of wine (or two). I especially want  to appeal to my ladies who will improvise and do this at home. I urge you to find your me-time! Unlock your hearts’ desires!

 

Courtesy of Alexas_Fotos. The convinience of pixabay.com

 

1. Send the kids to your neighbour if you have to. I mean, this is the best way. Or not. My suggestion! Just ensure they can be at school…yay! or at your mother’s or sister’s… if they want them as Valentine’s company. You can pack some cookies…
2. Put on some music. The pieces that will help you to relax. Put on some tea. Or scoops of ice cream or a cold coke. Your drink/cream, your choice. Preferably non- alcoholic.
3. Comfortable clothes. I won’t go into details. For some of us, comfortable clothes plus home alone equals to few or no clothes!! (Emoticon alert: side smile with one eye shut).
4. Here’s where we have warm water in a basin, soak our feet, sip on beverage/cream of choice, sing along….or we watch a movie cozied up on the sofa, crunching on crisps.
5. Wait, some of us with run a bath and put in the heavenly scented body oils. Let’s do bath tub, scented candles, beverage… of choice. By the way, maybe company of choice too!
6. There could be many variations to my suggestions. For example, the music might be one that compels you to do a really good jig. The kind of dance that relieves stress and maybe works up your cardio… I won’t pretend to use gym-jargon!!! Basically you want to exercise and the music will help you break a sweat…there, I said it; in the simplest way I could.
7. Better yet, let’s cook a really good meal, and invite someone over.
8. I’m sure by now we have realized we can’t have it all! My point is, get away and relax!
9. Let’s hear some of your ideas. That maybe include: cleaning out the closet, picnic in the bedroom, sleep, long walk, road trip, photography, putting your legs up and scrolling through your friends’ social media pages … just saying!
10. JUST DO YOU! Maybe you have saved up some cash and just want to go shopping. Over-thinker mode: You can have acquired a card – maybe pre-paid or a credit card- the source: your bank (for miss independents) or your sponsor (the term commonly used in Kenya to mean a man OR WOMAN…tisk tisk… who gives you cash for mostly services rendered or it’s assumed “particular services” rendered.
11. The ten above suggestions are for ladies by ladies (and maybe their men who may be looking to my blogpost for ideas…) This is a loud HINT: THERE’S NO ESCAPING VALENTINE’S DAY!
12. I am running for a list of fourteen. You can guess why. Number twelve I dedicate to a gift: a watch, a wallet, a racket, a branded mug, a signed book, flight tickets, a voucher, a device.
13. Re-do the first something. For instance the first date. Try to be authentic: venue, ambience, scent, clothes even people (maybe those who attended the engagement party; if you remember them and can actually get a hold of them!
14. Yaay! Fourteen! put a smile on someone’s face. It could be anyone. A random gesture that says, “I see you”, “I admire you”, “I forgive you”, I remember you”, “From me to you”.

I can only hope you’ve read all the way to the end and now have an inspired idea of what to do for yourself and others…this Valentine’s Day!

Those things – Counting down, weekly

Oh my! Thank God for notifications. “It has been six days since your last post, here are your results”. This notification reminds me I am doing a count down.

Romantic thoughts for the week?

Those have been scanty. All I have is accumulated drafts. I can’t seem to get past one hundred words for each of my catchy topics. I know I want to write a warm and fuzzy blogpost to get people in the LOVE mood. I am becoming increasingly aware that some of my readers may be indifferent to V- day. Some have broken up from what was to be “the relationship”. and not so long ago! One of my girlfriends would rather look forward to her job. Working is more fulfilling she says.

So maybe let’s raise our glasses to those who could care less and just want to move on with life. Those who wanna focus on other things other than being in love with someone. To those who NEVER look at the ex’s social media pages to find out what they are up to. Getting touchy am I? Wouldn’t want to be declared a persona non grata!

So maybe we mourn the end of relationship. We talk about the stages, with emphasis that everyone is unique and takes varied lengths of time in each phase. Each step is expressed with different levels of intensity. Can I just say, you are still alive and therefore there’s still hope!

Denial and isolation. It is not really happening. It has not really happened. Most times this stage doesn’t last long. Why? because there’s a reality to silence. He/She used to call or text or email often. They used to visit. They used to live with you. No longer there!

Anger. Reality and pain sets in. Anger because of our vulnerability. Anger directed at people or even objects. Intense emotion. Resenting the person who has caused you pain.

Bargaining. Now we want to shake of the vulnerable feelings. We want to gain control of the situation. If only I had not loved so much. If only I had stuck to my plan. If only I knew… The guilt.

Depression. Sadness over the whole situation. Feeling like you aren’t really in control and therefore just want to be a zombie of sorts. Hugs help. Lots of them. Smiles too, and music, and more hugs: long and tight.

Acceptance. This stage may take long to come, but it eventually does. Deep breaths. Different perspective. Energized resolutions driven by a calmness that all is well.

Let’s just allow ourselves to go through the stages. To feel what we feel. To express it. To take as much time as we need. To allow others to be there for us, although no-one can truly, in all aspects, understand another’s pain. We can just promise to weather the storm and emerge stronger at the end of it all!

Countdown to Valentine’s day

If I do a blogpost titled, “countdown to anything”, does that mean I have to post daily? A question that introduces laziness to the equation.

A dash to click on the plus (+) sign on the menu bar at the top of my laptop screen, the plus sign that opens to a new tab. I quickly type in: “meaning, countdown”. I kind of know what I will find. My primary school English teacher taught me to split the words into two and then…

Back to it, down means descending and count means – something to do with numbers. So there’s a movement of numbers downwards… life of an over-thinker!

I suppose then I can do a weekly countdown! Great! I can specifically summarise all weekly romantic thoughts into a Saturday blogpost, counting down to Valentine’s day! Aha moment!

Today being the first Saturday, I’ll dive right into the colour RED, well for obvious reasons. The V- day is associated with love and RED has taken the day, competing of course with Christmas- but V-day takes it. Please hold that thought!

How do you describe a colour? Any colour. Most likely by the way it appears naturally. For example, take the colour green.  What do you think of when I mention GREEN? Maybe grass? Leaves? Forest? Please don’t wonder where I am going with this. Are you likely to describe a colour based on it’s position in the spectrum? No? Also, how would you describe a colour, any colour, to a blind person? Blind from birth, that is. Do we ever stop to think about it, really? I would probably associate colour to touch; appeal to another of the senses, right?… Please let’s not hold the thought in the previous paragraph for too long…

RED is associated with: energy, passion, action… and undoubtedly… LOVE. The term most men think was coined to mess them up! The term most women feel best describes a beautiful, rosy emotion! Maybe. Who am I to want to describe a four letter word that humankind still finds new ways of defining? I will attempt, nonetheless. I can’t just back away from a challenge.

Love is best shown than spoken. The words ” I love you”- I strongly feel, should be said when meant- always when you have the attention of the object of your love. The statement “I love you” can never be as a “Good day! see you later ” pleasantry.

Love is shown through selfless actions. These actions can be backed up by the declaration, “I love you”. Notice, if you may, I said backed-up, to mean reinforced or added onto to.

But you know what? I am convinced, actually, more than convinced; that if you show someone or somepet (pun intended), that you love them, then you wouldn’t have to say it so many times. I have a really close friend, more than ten years of friendship now. He has never said to me that he loves me. He has never had to. I know it because of his actions- selfless actions. We once slipped into the more-than-friends-zone. it got uncomfortable. We slipped back into the friends-zone. We still are. All I can say, he would do anything for me, and I for him. Perhaps we should rob a bank for each other! Naaaa!

Perhaps he should be my valentine this year?

Do you have such a person?

So, the love psychologists and love experts… (if there are any such people… I doubt because love is one of those things that evolve… there can never be an expert… overthinking!) The love peeps say that people give love in their language. Let me explain. I will give love how I want to be given love. For example, you can probably already tell that I am a “show me, take action” kind of person. Therefore, I expect to be told “I love you” using acts of love. And so, I am likely to show others that I love them by ” doing things to and for them” and maybe not literally audibly say the three words.

Maybe your love language is gifts. You are the kind of person whose heart skips a beat when someone gives you a well thought-of and meaningful gift. By default, you really like to give gifts. There’s almost always a gift for every occasion or event. Lover, if this is your partner, please buy a one page calender every year and mark all the important dates. Hang this calender on a wall that you easily and daily interact with. Please also put reminders on ALL your devices (mobile phone, ipad, laptop…) preferably reminding you a few days before the d-days and counting down. You have to, have to, have to, get a gift… hahahaha! (The repetition is a tool for emphasis) …and God needs to have gifted you with excellent listening skills, (or you need a class or two) because your gifts-is- my-love-language-partner is probably always hinting about what they want for their birthday, anniversary, day we came from the hospital, friendship day, world cake day… the list is endless!

In another lane of my over- thinking road. I think the words: “I protect you” are a good substitute for “I love you”. Let’s face it. Men (male species of humankind) are territorial beings. In a previous blogpost, How badly do you want it?, I may have stated stuff to do with animal behavior. Let me first justify my next thought with the theory that suggests: humankind are of the animal kingdom. Any implications that the male species of humankind is an animal and displays animal-like tendencies is in no way to be construed as anything but a general observation. Please don’t hold that thought!

Now can I run away because maybe some readers got lost somewhere along the way. Some may have to re-read some paragraphs, I hope. Some will comment below, please do. Some will check out my other blogposts, yes? All in all, join me on the weekly countdown to V-day 2018. I should totally start a hashtag. Maybe then my following will increase. Maybe I’ll get to PART ONE: 1,000,000 likes, then what?

 

a new year beckons

Deep

Scribbled Verse

a new year beckons, thus a scribble on treading onwards …

we have been hurt,

battered by time,

by fate,

we have been stung,

by harsh tongues wagging,

words,

words,

hollow,

meaningless,

harsh tirades borne, colder words, mere words,

spoken,

meant to jab,

prod,

ceaseless,

until spirits are torn,

and,

broken …

… still,

we endure,

still,

we hope,

for,

we may be lashed against fates’ ropes,

still,

we endure,

we cling on,

to dreams,

and to shared hopes,

for,

we shall rise, staggering perhaps,

but standing,

never kneeling,

however painful,

sorrowful,

times may be,

for we shall stand,

if,

if,

you are with each other,

offering each other,

that helpful, comforting hand … …

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Retail Sales, Corporate Sales: Part 1

I hope this post will prove helpful, especially to beginners in both the sectors. We can dive deeper into the Selling element by tackling techniques that work for both retail and corporate sales.

Some will argue that it’s good to start out a selling career at retail sales. Maybe because it is all about handling customers on a one to one basis. It involves directly selling to a client. A salesperson can learn first hand about how to face their fears. All of us have a fear of rejection. I insist that retail sales will teach you how to bounce back- quickly and with a big smile on your face! Also, in my opinion, retail sales forces a salesperson to be very thorough in product knowledge. In some companies’ orientation program, you will find that the first one month can be spent on sales training, specifically dwelling on the products and/or services offered by the company.

More often than not this client is the decision maker and may walk into a store to purchase an item. This client may be doing some window shopping with cash in hand; or maybe card in hand…also with phone in hand…haha! Mobile money transfer is a thing right now. I must definitely acknowledge! Back to window shopping: a term used to mean that this woman has several hours to go into several stores to ask many questions about all items she is interested in… without necessarily buying (catching my breath).

Let’s flip the coin: corporate sales. One, the decision makers are more than one. More often than not, three approval signatures are required for you to get the deal sealed. The sales cycle may be longer depending on the organizational culture of your corporate. Let’s demystify all these “sales words”. The sales cycle is basically the process that companies go through when selling a product and/or service to the customer; all the activities associated in closing the deal. 

Maybe to summarise: 1) Making initial contact: phone call, cold email, client visit. 2) Qualifying the customer: checking if the client “fits” – do they need, can they afford, how soon… 3) Making the presentation: could be a demo, a strong pitch, be ready for lots of questions… you’ve got to know your product and/ or service. 4) Evaluation: basically dealing with the clients’ concerns, more questions probably; bring your convincing game on! 5) Close the sale: you’ve got to ask for the sale! 6) Ask for referrals: confidently get feedback of the clients’ experience and definitely ask them to give you a recommendation.

The other term up there: organization culture. I must say, having been in corporate sales for about three years now, I have seen some organizations take one year to give me business and some, one week. Procedures and departments and influencers and bosses… Organizational culture is, in manner of speech, the behavior of people who make up the organization; their actions that is. these actions are driven by the organization values, working language, systems, beliefs, habits…

Pedestrian Talk

Not pillow talk! That’s for another day. Today, we walk as we talk!

As I briskly walk towards my office, I always notice the pedestrians who “allow” vehicles to pass before they use the “safety apparatus” given to us by traffic rules: the pedestrian crossing!

A designated place for pedestrians to cross a road. So why will some drivers not slow down as they approach a pedestrian crossing? Why will a pedestrian “allow” vehicles to pass – and sometimes really fast- as though we are not all equal users of the road? Are we all equal road users by the way? I argue that we are!

Such is life, in the mind of an over-thinker such as myself. My good friends will tell you that sometimes I retreat to a quiet zone. When they reach out, I am like a tortoise whose head is hidden in a really big shell. Eventually, the head comes out and speaks, much to the delight of the listener who probably laughs away my fears. Friendship!

Other times, when no one comes looking, I just come out and utter words of wisdom that some call parables. I hope I am not losing you… Back to pedestrian crossing.

Isn’t there a time it was called a “zebra crossing”? I think I remember a time, some two decades ago while I was in primary school. Please let’s not ask how old I could be.

Now, only now, I learn that in American English, the pedestrian crossing is referred to as a crosswalk. A quick thought about how across the border, from Kenya, the word “taxi” refers to a public vehicle that carries about eleven passengers. What we call “taxi” is known as “private hire”. What they call “taxi” we call “Nissan matatu”. Even so, these specific matatus are  nowadays from other brands like “Toyota Hiace”.

Anyway, crosswalks are designed essentially to create a collection point for pedestrians. When pedestrians gather at this designated point, then motorists are able to see them from a distance. Also, the pedestrians can then safely cross the road across vehicular traffic. Vehicular! Alas, new word of the day! To mean related to vehicle, yes? So, there’s other forms of traffic other than vehicular traffic?…random questions!

I want to confess that this blogpost began on the 1st of December 2017. I think I have added bits and pieces during the month of December. This particular paragraph is being written on the…wait for it…2nd of January 2018. We made it safely! Happy New year!

There’s been accidents on the Kenyan roads this past month. It’s annoying because everyone, it seems, both the directly affected and the unaffected are looking for people to blame. The weird part is that some accidents are recurrent at the same stretch of road; commonly being referred to as a “blackspot”. I am tempted to get a closer view of this spot located about 185km from Nairobi. The blackspot is making for conversation at the boardrooms and for openers in cold WhatsApp conversations. My house-help mentions the occurrences whenever I pause to observe what she’s watching at “prime time”.

When I stop to think hard about it: I picture the mother who lost her three children and husband. I wonder what that is like. Then I see social media rantings about how the government is to blame. So now, night travel has been banned. A colleague says witchcraft! – the recurrent deaths at the same spot. But who really is to blame? I have a theory that if a driver is truly cautious on the road, especially for long distance drivers, he/she will rest after a one-way trip. He will ensure the vehicle is well serviced at appropriate intervals. He will make stops as necessary. He will report of any inconsistencies. Someone is rolling their eyes and saying, “Yeah, right!”

But if we all, as road users, stop to really think long and hard, we will find that we don’t really want to die. We don’t want to cause another’s death. By the way, road users here refers to everyone: pedestrians, all motorists, traffic policemen…

In other news, I am struggling to ensure all my social media platforms stick to their lanes… I’ll explain in another post.